This has to be short...it's a race against the generator...

I stole a flag today.

You know now that I think about it.

Stole is such an ugly word.

I prefer rescue.

I rescued a US flag today.

better.

I was driving down a feeder road and noticed Old Glory on a flag pole that was laying at about a thrity degree angle to the ground...the flag itself was in knots and shreds.

Without another thought other than grade A pissed off ones
I pulled into the Chevron and went in looking for the owner.

"Is that ya'lls flag pole there on the corner?

"What? oh...Yes."

"Hey man, you can't just leave our flag out there like that. It's not right."

Thick middle Eastern accent...
"Madam we are in a hurricane, we have no time for that."

"Oh yeah?
You have time to sell warm beer and soda to Americans
and you took time to come here and run a business in America...
what say you go on out there and take care of that American flag you took the time to fly?"

"Madam we have been very busy--

I interrupt him...

You can't be too busy that hurricane was three days ago
and I know for a fact your doors were open right after noon on Saturday...man! That's three days that flag has been left out there like that. Show some respect!"

"If you don't like it lady (yup he was mad I went from Madam to Lady) you go take it down"

"No problem, I'll be happy to help you."

"Never mind! NEver mind I will do it!"

"When?"

"Do not bother me, lady, I am very busy."

"YOU BETTER TAKE DOWN THAT FLAG!"

Hope leaves, but not before she notices she had a little audience and not just any audience, but homeschool mama audience..."hello Hope, umm so how are things???mind you I have been off homeschool radar for about a three months so this hope sighting will precede me, I am sure...poor woman was pretty mortified, but I was feeling GREAT!!

I hadn't chewed anyone's ass in a while...ahhhh

It's like riding a bike.

So anyway I go home find my camera, scissors and come back to the scene of the desecration.

I manage to reach the bottom clip of the flag and get that down, but the top part I have to jump up and grab the pole to reach...then I put an ankle over the pole to hold it down low enough to reach it with my other hand.

I'm pretty pleased with how things ar going and notice that the two utility guys waiting to use the phone are pretty pleased, too.

I grin.
Hop down.

Walk to the car and put the flag through the open window of my car.
Still smiling conspiratorily at my witnesses I walk around, get in and drive off.

I figure I had to take it.
If that asshole didnt' know how to fly our flag properly,
he sure as hell wouldn't know how to discard it either.

So Marci, see there??
I told you sooner or later I'd have to make a scene somewhere.
It was only a matter of time...