Having four kids was not something I set out to do when I got married. What I set out to do was not work--outside of the home that is, if I had children. I felt like it was important that I raised them and Tony was the breadwinner. I've been raising kids now for 11 years. Yes, Tony is here and does a great deal, but the whole 24/7 thing is on me. Traditional roles and all.

I'm pretty sure I suck at it. I won't go into how I rate up against other parents since the point is moot, but for me and without sucking around for comments to the contrary, I can look at what I have done so far and realize I have made some important mistakes.

I have done too much for them.
I have not had high enough expectations.
I have not been as consistent as they deserved.

I could go on, but it would be a little redundant-- all the rest will have something to do with these three anyway.

So I have been making sure they do for themselves, raising the bar where character and expectation are concerned and subsequently, as far as the children are concerned, been on their proverbial asses.

There have been sporadic uprisings, guerilla/insurgent like tactics and all manner of guilt led assaults in hopes that mom will capitulate. NO.
NO.
NO.
NO.

and so-

It's been ugly aroud here.
U-G-L-Y.

Mom is tired.
BUT

Mom is:
faster.
smarter.
more tenacious.

and

Mom has researched foster care.

Mom WILL win.

Yup-- this sounds adversarial and not child led at all. But I think that was the problem to begin with.