Somehow Ol' Man Winter makes me even more intent on providing and constantly planning whatever I can to feed, clothe, house and or fuss over my brood which is varied and extensive and not limited to those with whom I share DNA. My exhibition of this particular kind of behavior is fairly well known to my family and friends and mostly something I don't have to explain, but sometimes, out in public, an explanation keeps things from becoming problematic.

Case in point.

I was in a large linen store yesterday looking for sheets when I came across four really large aisles of towels. Every color, every texture-- it was a plethora I tell ya! Which for some unknown reason brought to mind my jarheads and what kind of towel situation they might be in...Suddenly I'm slowing down and thinking, "Heeeeey towels....hmmmm... should I send a different color for each guy? this one is soooooft...nice...oh lookit that one...no-- too pink...wonder what's on the next aisle? Soft definitely trumps color...I wonder which one of these is the softest?"

Tunnel vision ensues and I must have been at it a few minutes before I look up and see this saleslady with a million things to put back--it was a wicked sale, you see. She was looking at me over her glasses and a mound of towels she had resting on top of her ample bosom. Her chin drops down a little more toward her chest and she looked at me like I had 'Property of Glendale Residential Hospital' embroidered somewhere on my shirt.

"Can I help you?"

"What?"

"Do you need any help?"

I squelched the 'Well, that's a loaded question' reply and opted for "No" instead.

Hey! It wasn't like I was rolling around naked on them or anything. Doesn't everyone use their cheek to see how soft something is? Personal comfort for my boys over there is at a premium. I was just trying to be thorough. There was a hell of a lot of them to go through you know.

I explained as much to Towel Lady and she just kind of nodded and backed away slowly.

I won't tell you about the nice , thick socks I found today. I expect the guys up in the security camera room had a nice chuckle though.