I thought of The Dwarf Slayer when I read this piece and all my dear ones I am lucky to have around...okay enough with the awwwwwws. We're done here.

True Friendship ... None of that Sissy Crap
(Author Unknown--well... you could probably google it)

Here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship. You will see no cutesy little smiley faces. Just the stone cold truth of our great friendship.
1. When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against
the sorry bastard who made you sad.
2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
3. When you smile -- I will know you are plotting something that I must be involved in.
4. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get.
5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.
6. When you are confused -- I will use little words.
7. When you are sick -- Stay the hell away from me until you are well
again. I don't want whatever you have.
8. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.
9. This is my oath.... I pledge it to the end. 'Why?' you may ask;
'because you are my friend'.