Em gave me this meme to do. The task involves writing a letter from the person you are now to your 13 year old self. Yuh...I know...that's waaaaaaaaaaaay too much material.

Think about it.

What if you try to write the letter when you are explaining to a 3 year old why, while their evil genius is inspiring on many albeit disturbing levels, flinging bodily waste in retribution though obviously effective, may not be such a good idea?

What if you try to write this letter when you are sitting in church and realize, "Whoa I think this guy might be full of poopy" and be talking about the priest and not one of your kids?

What if you write the letter just after you hear from a college roommate, who's stint writing at the Smithsonian has been extended, while you are in the kitchen with a kidlet wrapped a la ankle weight demanding juice and bacon?

Timing would be a factor I think. Otherwise the letter will be really short and start with something like, "Are you out of your fucking mind...don't do it...just off yourself now!"

The other issue with this particular meme involves message delivery.

My scenario essentially revolves around what a little recon would do for you-- you know some series of directions from the deadly and devastatingly handsome point man (gimme a break this is my damn fantasy) to your other wise half cracked, FNG-ridden, internal rifle team. My point man would naturally also be blessed with an expert shooting badge,MAIT training and even perhaps a stint at sniper school...yeaaah sniper school, that's it...

This guy would move stealthily through my future pointing out which people and situations will prove themselves in sore need of a bullet to the head or evaporation into a 'fine pink mist'-- I love that image. (I'd talk about it more in depth with my friends at Park day like we do allergies and behavior criteria standards prompting therapy inquiries, but I'm not so sure it would go over the same.)

Where was I? Oh yes, bullets and mist...so basically this meme is about my point man having the mission of relating the challenges and travails which lie ahead of my 13 yr old self. When he slips back into camp to gimme the gouge, he'll be all sweaty and scratched from the experience and demanding of my full attention upon his return and

I'll likely either:
a) think I know better or
b) be listening to Air Supply or
c) plotting the demise of Mrs. Allen, my mean ass, obviously sexually unfufilled Algebra teacher.

Which might prove a bit of a challenge...he-lloooo I am 13! Remember? I won't be in general favor of listening to anyone--but I have this little glitch worked out. Remember. I did make my point man a man...and up to this point I will have been conditioned to respect a man's opinion far more than a woman's anyway...thanks Dad...and of course, naturally, this guy will be hot--damn hot.

So see? I can't do this meme without RECON. I'm not going to listen to a letter, I'll need the threat of pummeling for insubordination and the possibility of weapon use to increase my chances of taking heed.

A letter would just get swiped by Mrs. Allen and read to the entire class anyway.

My tags go to:
Earthmama
Ci Roller Dude
Belleauwood
Diva 2
Phillipines Phil
Sgt. Grumpy
What would you say in a letter to your 13 yr old self if you could?