My parents called for a dinner out to which my husband declined last night. I decided to go. They aren't in town often, the kids like to see them and I think somewhere in the back of my mind I hold out hope I have grown a thicker skin or given them the benefit of the doubt--maybe this year, I think, they have a new agenda which doesn't require a thicker skin. Their signature bickering, sniping and general disregard and disrespect having magically evaporated through better living or psychotropic drugs.

Word of the day:

WRONG.

I need a NASA Family Flight Manual with part of a flow chart which moves through the questioning process of:
Are your parents ever going to change?

and only goes to these steps:

"Uhhhhhhhhhh NO.

Hell no, Hope.

Fuhgeddaboutit.

next disintegrating into an unladylike snort and
recovering into disbelieving, gasping for air laughter

"You gotta be kidding.

The answer is NO.

What? Do you need this tattooed on your forehead?

I told you.
Get over yourself.

Gheesh!

Why the hell are you still even remotely waiting on this?

That's it.
no more astronaut stuff for you...you're fired."

Yup.
See, I figure a conversational type manual might get my attention a little more.

It's worth a shot...
so far I have been batting zero just making mental notes over time.

I'm game for a new tactic.

Dinner tonight turned into a limo ride around Houston and an interrogation/critique of my current objectives and a review of all poor family dynamics I no longer generally participate in, but because we are blood, I remain privy.

I really need to reconsider just smacking people in the mouth or at least the development of an air which conveys I am capable of it so they stand down a little. Force always worked for them. Surely it would work on them.