Well I have found it.
I have found the method for teaching my 11 year old to shut the %#@ door behind him...
sweet _
mother_
of_
God,_
I have found it.
No manner of plaintive, exasperated or crazed bellowing to SHUT THE DOOR!!! has worked.
not
making him shut it 30 times
pushups
squat thrusts
death threats
orphanage applications left casually on the counter next to the cookies
or
sentence writing
has worked.
so
I was walking through the living room the other day and there it was again.
WIDE OPEN!!!!
arrrgggggggggggghhhhhh.....!!!!!!
M_O_T_H_E_R_F_U_>>>
I walked up slammed it shut saw him coming back up to the porch from throwing the garbage and instinctively locked the door.
Mom!
What?
Open the door!
No.
MOOOM.
What?!
Open the door! Come on!
NO!
You make it your job to leave the freaking door open-- so guess what buddy??? I'm making it my new job to shut it and lock it if I see it open. I'd start keeping a chair out there, if I were you. I think you are going to need it.
Blank stare.
So...
You aren't opening it?
Ding! Ding!Ding!
Whaddawehaveforhimjohnny???
uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
NO!!!!
MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!
You can"t do that.
I just did, boy.
What the hell do you mean I can't do it?
Geez boy, catch up.
I briefly felt a new balance to the universe.
but still
Being a mom sucks sometimes.
Post script...I have been assured that this problem is temporary in my son and is due soley to an over-abundance of neurons with no corollary snyaptic links. Whew and I was worried...
9 comments:
It does suck a lot of the time mama! So through it all he did not think to go to the back door? Or was that one locked too?
Lol. You are my kinda Mom.
Lol, I could have used this advice a few years ago.
grasshopper...oh no I locked everything up and did so with great glee I might add.
Hippy--i take that as a compliment from you mama...
Bob- Hey guy long time no see! How's that beautiful sky of yours? Hey listen if you ahve any tips on how to kep pee of the shower curtains, shoot it my way...
That is what I thought, but wanted to check to make sure. =) You go mama!!!! Show them whose boss and give them something to talk about in therapy later on. ha ha ha!!!! You know I would do the same thing.
My son is 27 this year. Back in the late 80s I went through a similar spate over his leaving his shoes on the livingroom floor. After trying everything, same as you. Finally, out of frustration, I finally decided to make him wear them around his neck like a pungent necklace. He's hard headed. He resented me, nay, hated me for it; and even now he dredges it up and makes me feel bad at having done it. I wish now that I hadn't. It wasn't worth the momentary satisfaction that I got from it and ultimately it didn't change his behavior one iota. (He still tends to be a bit of a slug). There's more to life than this moment. Be careful of the memories you make for your little people. Those memories will outlast you. But you know yours best; I'm sure their little psyches will be just fine, because knowing you, I know you'd never do anything to hurt them... right?
ha ha ha...haven't been here in a while...good to see your still plugging away. I think I will have to try out your methods..love the picture you included as well!
Phil- My question would be does your son have any children yet? Are they older yet? I used to think some of the things my parents did were horrible, until I had kids. My oldest just turned 10and I completely get how enlightened my parents were in raising us. It is actually amazing they did not kill us growing up. Sassy mouths run in the family you know. My dad has a time listening to my stories now and laughing...yes laughing at my responses and reactions. He says, "Sounds like a little someone I used to know." They get smarter and smarter the older you get and the older your own kids get.
ahahahaha! oh mommy hope, your kid stories crack me up.