I never write the title to my post before I write the post.
Mostly, because, aside from a general topic
or the occasional rant necessary for the avoidance of a felony arrest of some kind,
I never really know where I am going to go with a post.

The last few days since returning from time away have been difficult.
I knew as I sat on the deck and watched endless horizon,
I wouldn't be able to write about what I was seeing or feeling.
I would just have to be.

Which I suppose is the same intent I am trying to capture
as I experience uncertainty where my life is concerned at the moment .
Like the Gulf water it seems to be spread out in every direction.
Deep and unexplored.
Like the water, I can only presume to know
the surface and its depths
and yet, dare not assume I am right about what is there.
Not yet, anyway.

Which is the question I suppose.
Taji is still hanging out in front of me present,
but just beyond the tips of my fingers.
I have the Taji orientation trip slated for San Antonio,
but confirmation has not come, yet.
My itinerary is here,
but no recent word from powers that be.
My job here ends on Tuesday.
The nature of teaching and the rhythm of the school year
made my resignation necessary
for the transition I want for my students here.
Yes.
I quit my job without another one locked down.

My mother in law is unhappy with me...
well mostly, I suspect she is since my behavior in regards to her position is one of apathy.
Somewhere along the lines this last year,
assimilation and acceptance into my husband's family has become a non issue for me.
I don't care anymore.
Given my nature, I don't care now as deeply as I did care then.
Going on the cruise without her son, who did not want to go,
taking a job far away whether it be in the States or in Iraq,
all of these things do not please her
and it's compounded by my knowing this
and yet, doing nothing about it, when every other time, I have.

I had a great vacation.
People should take the time to get away from the noise and just be.
Look at something beautiful.
Read a book.
Walk a beach.
Immerse yourself in another culture.
Even drinking and playing a game,
where at some point you have to give some stranger your bra,
are all things I highly recommend.

A lot of life gets wasted on all the living you are or feel compelled to do.
To each their own compulsion of course.
Though I do think it should be spent on the living you chose to do.
'Course one is scarier than the other.
Which one is scarier varies from person to person as much as one's compulsions.
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I need to go and answer comments. I love to hear back from people and shouldn't have taken so long. xox