So went this email volley with one of my friends out in Djibouti, Africa--(man, my kids love saying that word)
The last couple of days we have been discussing how different men and women can go at a discussion. He had contended how said male can remove his ass from a girl sling with a well placed term of endearment which took our conversation further into the whole Men are from Mars Women are from Venus insanity.
The last couple of days we have been discussing how different men and women can go at a discussion. He had contended how said male can remove his ass from a girl sling with a well placed term of endearment which took our conversation further into the whole Men are from Mars Women are from Venus insanity.
Read on....
Trey writes: Glad to hear that darlin'.lol. You know that's my favorite word?
It's kinda dangerous cause a lot of girls think that they are the only one I call 'darlin', but really I use it cause:
1) I have a horrible memory and when I first meet a girl it's a lot easier than sittin' there and goin' through my mental rolodex for her name and
2) no girl can stay mad at you for too long, if you call her 'darlin''.
-----Original Message-----
From: Hope
Sent: Monday, November 17, 2008 1:44 AM
To: Trey Sgt USAFRICOM CJTF-HOA
Subject: Re: (no subject)
darlin', baby, sunshine...
yup male asses out of slings for centuries on those three words..
Trey replies:
In my book sweetheart is second only to darlin'. I feel like a lot of younger guys have gotten away from using words like that and feel that it's my obligation to carry them on, lol. I won't argue that we need all the help we can get, but as a whole, women make it as hard as they possibly can.
Sent: Monday, November 17, 2008 3:02 AM
To: Hamilton, Howard Sgt USAFRICOM CJTF-HOA
Subject: Re: (no subject)
I forgot sweetheart.How could I forget sweetheart? Okay four words...which is good-- you boys need all the help you can get.
-----Original Message-----
From: Hope [mailto:hstrueby@aol.com?]
Sent: Monday, November 17, 2008 6:45 PM
To: Trey Sgt USAFRICOM CJTF-HOA
Subject: Re: (no subject)
So
'Darlin''
Then 'Sunshine' and 'Sweetheart'
--depending on the delivery.
But you are right, I never hear these terms of endearment too often--
well sometimes Tony will use 'baby', but he IS a Missouri boy so well...there you go.
See,
I think the biggest problem between men and women is we don't speak each other's language,
but we operate under the misguided assumption that we are. I mean words we recognize are coming out of our mouths. We process them.
Then
BAM
someone is cryin' or picking up their clothes off the lawn.
Men say something and women hear something entirely different and vice versa...
Though I hold that women are more interested in trying to translate
and men are more interested in not needing to have the conversation in the first place...
Trey's rebuttal:
Possibly, but could this not be a direct result of the Male language being far easier to decipher than the Female language? I'm pretty sure that in a hundred thousand years, when archaeologists are studying the "cave paintings" in my house, they will look at mine and say, "this specimen here wanted to watch football, and drink a beer or two with his boys while enjoying the company of his lady friend". I'm sure they will look at those of my female counterpart and go,
"this female in question wanted to spend time alone,
but not just in the apartment,
she wanted to go out,
but not someplace super fancy.
Some place nice, but familiar.
She didn't want to have to say she wanted to go out,
he was just supposed to know when where
and how this was supposed to take place,
which implies that this species used some sort of telepathic communication which the male members of the species had not yet mastered."
--least, that's how they see it in my picture of the future,lol!
---------------------------
We are both interested in reading what everybody has to say on this topic. I'm supposed to send him the comments so he can answer, so show the boy some love. You know you wanna!!!
Yeah, it's a tough job, but someone has to support them.
I'm such a giver.
Labels:
communication,
men,
women
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21 comments:
Oh dear. My lecherous side is coming out. If it wasn't for Mr P, I'd invite Trey to call me darlin' any time he liked.
I'm off for a shower. A cool one...
Annie--haaaaa, yes well he's not just easy on the eyes...too many emails and getting to know him have kept me from lechery. Maternal extincts abound here...(mostly--I mean come on now I'm not dead!!!)Ha. Really though he is the sweetest human being. He writes to my kids in class and checks in regularly with them to see what they are doing. Once he wrote them about Halloween and could remember what each kid was wearing for Halloween, I was floored. They love him to pieces.
I'm at a disadvantage here - asses out of slings! What's that about?
Trey is one insightful Jarhead. The difference in communication between men and women in communicating is like the difference bewteen Realism and Abtract paintings.
Most men speak with strokes of realism like a Thomas Eakins while many women speak (and more importantly, interpret) in strokes akin to Paul Gauguin.
The two paintings side by side can clash with the decor of life. Ha. Deep, huh?
I don't use the words darlin and sweetheart to those outside my inner circle, but I have never seen anything wrong with it if the person using it is genuine.
Hell, I get called sweetie, and honey by my female customers frequently. I think it's cute.
Ooo-Rah to Trey. Cheers!!
that last email he sent cracked me up...yeah, yeah, i get it. :)
but i would not like being called darlin or honey...yuck. sweetheart i can live with and sunshine? where'd you come up with that one, hope?...
To Miss Annie/Agnes,
You made my day darlin. I mean really, you did. For a big part of my
life I've been afflicted with a kind of social shyness. I think this has
a lot to do with growing up in a painfully small town, and not having to
develop a larger network of friends until later in life than most
people. I think a lot of guys suffer from the same thing, although some
you wouldn't know it cause they severly overcompensate with over the top
personalities, or other little quirks that get them anykind of
attention. Anyways, I think I was in my freshman year of college before
I had a female compliment my looks. Course there's Momma, and Grandma,
and Aunts gushing over how handsome you are, but honestly I've seen some
pretty unfortunate looking children getting the same treatment from
relatives, so it never means anything. So I regress, thank you much, you
did make my day.
Trey
Hey Dotterel...I'm going to let Trey explain. Ha. Thanks for coming over. How'd you find me? via Mattman?
~hope
Mattman--A man who knows his art. It's a weak spot. Hear that sound? It's smack points going up~hope ;)
Earthmama-- come now you have never been called Sunshine? Obviously, though it bears no real need as we have covered this ground before...I'm a sucker for petnames. Shrug. Well and the Marine Corps...sigh. I never had a chance. HAAAAAAAAAAA.
Well, isn't he just adorable? Yep. I'm pretty darn sure he could get away with something akin to murder in my company if he just called me "darlin." Cute and smart. That's dangerous.
Doterrel--
Ass in a sling: where to start. I'm not gonna pretend to know the
origin of this phrase. First though, I would like you to, if you would,imagine thatyou did in fact have your ass in a sling. If you get thecorrect picture in your head then laughter should ensue.To have you assin a sling though is to get yourself into a situationt that you cannothandle, that you do not want to be in, that you can't get out of, or any combination of the previous. Least, that's how I look at it.
To anyone who might have a problem with the terms darlin, sweetheart,honey, etc.. Why? Do you feel that it in some way demeans, or is lackening of females/ or males depending on who is using it? To that I say, lighten the hell up.
Where I come from they are all terms of endearment. They can mean many different things based upon their context. Mostly they are a sign that you have been accepted or are approved of by the user of said terms. Generally speaking, the earlier someone uses these terms in knowing you, the more of a compliment it is to you.
Trey
His archeologist example nails it dead on. I'd be willing to bet that complex hieroglyphics were done by women, those crude drawings of stick figures with boners and spears chasing mammoths were done by men.
Mnwhr--heehee...I think you and Trey would get on very well...in a drunken, woman oogling, yelling at the plasma screen way. xo~hope
Mnwhr--When the females finished with their indecipherable heiroglyphics I'm sure they all sat around and congratulated each other on what a success the whole project was, and then went to brunch.
Similarly, when the crude cave pantings were finished cave man A tossed Cave man B a cold one, they looked at each other proudly, slapped handsin a manner similar to today's high fives, and took the rest of the day to relax and watch cavewomen walk back and forth in front of the cave.
Trey
Hope, I will come back and read when I'm not at work. Thanks for stopping by my blog and ... OMG,OMG,OMG!!!! I absolutely LOVE Nickelback! :-D
Dead giveaway that the cave paintings were from a male cave ( or section thereof) 1) dogs playing poker. 2) crooked and a layer of dust on them from it being "just fine, leave it alone".
Female cave? Toilet seat chained in the down position and fluffy pillows in perfect condition everywhere.
My all purpose go-to name is "baby doll". Always works.
Karen--He is a standup kinda guy. His mom and dad did a good job with him.He takes care of his Marines and has a good heart. It's one of the things I really love about milsupport. THe kind of people you meet and the opportunity to see them doing the work they do and watching how they carry themselves. It's outstanding. I consider it a privilege.
xo~hope
Nite--Hey mama! I hadn't been by in a while and saw you following Sage's missive to help out that blogger. Glad I ran across you again. Still funny I see. ;)~h
Cunn--Hmmmm babydoll...that could work for me in the right setting.:)~h
Mnwhr--Flattery will get you--well, i dunno what it will get you exactly, but it'll get you something. Get creative and get back to me.lol~hope
I have learned that my wife (who I call darlin') and I need several rounds of of conversation before we derive the original intent.
I'm just bad with names, so I use darlin' toots or hon depending on my mood.
I just found your blog by way of Coquette's. (Meeting Madison) and this happened to be the first entry that I read. I found myself laughing as I read along and agreeing with...Trey. He certainly has the feminine mindset handily masterminded and I must give him credit where credit is due.
Personally, the word that gets me every damn time is 'baby'. But that is just me.
I have to add one more thing here, which is this:
HOLY HELL, TREY IS HOT!!!
mmmmmm.
What is the post about again?
..........lol
Yeah, I dunno, I don't mind being called anything except it pisses me off when people call me *dear* so condecending.
Bravado--the one word to describe how marines speak, write and act.
I dont mind pet names so much....I get called mama more often than not around my house....that is from ALL of my children...he he he