I alluded to some potential trouble with an organization because I accidentally sent a personal email to someone within the organization that shouldn't have received the email. (If you are reading and going WTF is she talking about go here).
In a nutshell, they didn't' break the saber across their knee or strip me of my epaulets and shove me out of the fort. I did it myself. Seems no number of apologies were enough and the recipient felt the need to comment on my ethics and morality so in response I asked to be removed or placed with a more forgiving contact within the organization since her initial response had been to accuse me of making a crude joke and admonishing me to not let it happen again...Tempting though it was to have someone use one email to determine my worth or moral character again or offer to put my character up for a Ethics Review, I opted out of this organization. I knew then I was in the wrong place with the wrong people.
As you know Letters to Leathernecks is a small grassroots organization of one letter writer/package sender and a lot of people willing to trust me with their money to take care of my milfolk. I have no 100,000 dollar a year salary or desire to sell a care package service as an extension. I deeply love my troops. That's why I do what I do.
It's just me, Hope and my family, mailing care packages, getting to know our adopteds, writing letters and listening in IM to people overseas who need an ear. It's pretty plain and simple.
One thing I will say is that I recently read a book called In Due Season and in it the author wrote about purpose. As you all know, if you have read my blog in the last few months, I have been working really hard to find mine, seemingly to no avail. In the last few years I have lost my sense of religion or faith or their definitions anyway and have stumbled a bit as I sought both.
What I have come to conclusion thus far is this:
God, a higher power, the Universe, whatever you choose to call it, has said, I'm not meant to be in Iraq right now training Iraqi officers, I'm not meant to be sweating my ass off at Ft. Benning doing OCS. I know for certain, because I did my damndest to do both. What most don't know is that day I lost my slot to OCS because of a timing issue, I had my first email concerning a young man somewhere in Iraq who needed some mail.
Shortly thereafter I got a bug in my ear that some Marines were eating for crap and needed appliances. What could I do? Didn't know. What could I do? I obviously wasn't going to Iraq and the Army did not need me enough to waive a four day commission gap. What was my purpose?
Frankly, my first instinct was to say no to taking on Marines or soldiers again. I had wrapped up shop in January thinking I would be in Taji, but I couldn't say no for I had no good reason to.
One led to another led to another.
"Thank you for listening."
followed by multiple
"You are easy to talk tos."
Trust manifested with questions like,
"Do you think you could?" or
"my buddy needs X, would you...??"
and all made me realize where I was needed and what my purpose must be.
At least this is what I percieve.
One day shortly after milsupport found me again, I had 200 hits on my analytics from the aforementioned organization, so I went and signed up with the group so I could see the forum and figure out why so many were coming my way, Hope Radio, I mean, from this message board.
Turns out I gave a "gritty, but with "some language" explanation of how to mil support that most on that forum there were in approval of. I was surprised at the comments as to my accuracy where milsupport was concerned and only slightly amused at being called 'gritty' or 'rough'. Meh.
To each there own.
Typically, I am more comfortable in a group of men and they seem more comfortable with me than a group of women might be.
*shrug*
Again I am sure some can commiserate with me and some won't.
Still what I am trying to say here on a hot, lazy, summer day with four kids shouting in the background, making stellar arguments for time by the pool, is that I am glad I was misjudged and that my character was impugned by these women at this other group for the last few days. It made me remember why I stay in milsupport. What's important and what is just noise.
It's not because I know more about a zip code than anyone else.
Or because I know how to pack cupcakes so they don't get squished .
Or because I seem to be quite adept at a reply from a troop or staying up all night with a Marine who is stuck on a problem or just plain sad.
Those are all ridiculous, insipid reasons.
I do it because I'm so damn of proud of our troops's spirit and their passion for doing their job. They may not even see themselves in this way, but it has to be there to do what they do day in and day out. Its a hot unforgiving, foreign in all things, groundhog day experience.
I mourn, in a way, the loss of perspective we here are cocooned in by living here in this country surrounded by oceans and a sense of adolescent invincibility because those for whom an ocean doesn't part, will come back different people, good, bad and indifferent. These sacrifices they make of body and spirit should be honored.
So I'm saying in a long winded, impassioned way, for this is my nature, is that people can question my integrity and passion for my men and women for as long as they care. There is great comfort in knowing that it in no way has a bearing on the tasks or life and life commitments I make for myself and for my family.
Had they not been cruel and judgemental these last few days, the fruits of this knowledge and being subjected to their unkind, unforgiving natures, would not be balm and for that I am grateful for their ignorance for it realigns my own purpose where my military endeavors are concerned and only steels my resolve to continue, understood or not.
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12 comments:
Frankly, Hope, I am happy and grateful that you do what you do and if anybody doesn't like it or like you, then they can shove off.
If someone was honestly going to question you over a single e-mail, ignoring all of your accomplishments and hard work, then in my mind, you are far better off not being a part of that organization.
(On a separate note, if you use Microsoft Outlook, there is a feature to "retract" sent e-mails).
Anyway, there are far too few people out there willing to put in the time and effort to actually DO what you do for our military men and women. It's a whole lot easier for those of us who send you a few dollars here and there. We may feel good about ourselves, but you are the one who truly is going above and beyond.
You need to do what makes you feel good. If that's helping the troops, so be it. You don't need some organization with high-and-mighty people like that to justify the good that you do.
Hang in there.
jealousy sucks.
Some small, insignificant people get an over-inflated ego when they get a chance to make a decision. You apologized and she chose to keep the stink going. She must have a hard time liking herself at times. But the important thing is, you took the high-road and showed those bitches what character, commitment and love is all about - if they are smart enough to realize it. I am proud of what you do. The time and energy it takes just to make a young man or woman’s life a little easier is staggering, and you do it. You have not lost anything by leaving those cheap, petty old biddies in your dust. Simper Fi, sweet thing.
Rut row - got me wondering when the organization's axe will fall on my little neck. Sorry I had to be the one to link your post but I greatly enjoy your blog and this latest post shows a great deal of maturity (and you still got the 'tude I especially love, lol). Your insight is great! I'm gonna spend my day making cards, burning DVDs and thinking about what the God or Universe or whatzit's name is trying to say to me.
You were already doing massively good works long before the organization heard of you :)
Topics > J > Judgement
1-10 Quotations of 162Judgement quotes
“Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.”
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“Judge a man by his questions rather than by his answers”
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“The tendency to turn human judgments into divine commands makes religion one of the most dangerous forces in the world.”
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“Judge a person by their questions, rather than their answers.”
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“Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear.”
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“If you judge people, you have no time to love them.”
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“Judgements prevent us from seeing the good that lies beyond appearances.”
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“Never judge a man's actions until you know his motives”
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“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”
Paulo Coelho
well I appreciate the support and I really appreciate having a place to put things so that they aren't carried around. IT's funny how a day or two and some family and friends can take the sting out of anything and make me feel compeeled to remind you and more importantly myself to not have too many angry thoughts about percieved injustice or slights.
I love all the love I got on and offlist.
I'm ready to move on past this and keep the focus on the important things...like BROWNIES!
I encourage namecalling...yup send me an email callout with anyone's name who needs some mail and we'll get it done.
thanks everyone.
Ps. Ally no worries on the link, I met at least a dozen good troops on that list and wound up with at least half of them adopted so I wouldn't have otherwise and I got YOU too, so it wan't a total washout!
I'm not going to judge those other people or call them names. It's not really relevant and doesn't help you.
You sent an email by mistake. You were embarrassed by that little error. You apologized for it. And you moved on when that apology wasn't accepted. They chose to judge you by your mistake rather than forgive it and move forward.
That's their choice and their loss because you are good at milsupport and one little email error doesn't change that.
Hope,
I can not speak to the "organization" but I can personally say that you are by far the best mil-support, friend, and "ear" a Marine could ask to be adopted by. It is funny how many people can forget that one should not do good things for what other people thing but because it is the right thing to do. As my mother says "No good deed goes unpunished". In my book a persons true goals and character come to the surface in a moral/ethical decision, and you have yet again showed your "true colors". Thank you for everything you have done for me and for what you are doing for my brothers in arms! I think the thing that sets you apart from the rest is that you do it because you truly care, to you "Support the Troops" is not a bumper sticker or something you can simply say to make yourself feel better and that alone on the Fourth of July makes me feel privileged to know you as who you are a GREAT AMERICAN and Patriot!
Happy Fourth of July to you and your wonderful family!
Smitty
Hmmm. Must have been a real doozy of an email. How bout you post that sucker and let us be the judge of exactly how horrible it really is? smirk...
I am so dying to know what that joke was!!
Oh well, so it didn't work out. Move on. What they think of you is immaterial. You've proven yourself through consistent efforts that you're very good at milsupport.
Giving without expectation of anything in return is perhaps the purest mission or purpose that one can have. I think milsupport is yours. The cause might evolve over the years, but the gift of knowing how to give in itself is worthy and something to be proud of.
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