No school.
No power.
No sense of time or place...very weird and also kinda of a light bulb where milsupport is concerned.
See, when you get to know the ones you wind up close to
and you haven't heard from them in a few days
you can really start to wonder about them..
for me wonder turns into annoyance
as in
where the hell are you??!
and if your dead I'll kill you.
Several have said..."hey out here a day is a month and a month is a day."
To which I would counter especially when it seemed to be the mundane keeping them offline (read here...they forgot)
...well then you better make sure you touch base every hour with that kinda chronology then, boy.
Not really.
still I get it more
after this mess.
In retrospect I offer the time honored vernacular...
My bad.
Everything I do is in terms of handling an obstacle or a challenge of some kind related to what is ordinarily something done without a lot of thought. it's not in a timeframe.
Rote.
If you will.
Making meals,
washing clothes,
posting mail,
running errands,
cleaning closets,
cleaning the house,
even getting online takes planning and conscious thought.
You have a certain amount of time the generator is on, X number of things plugged in, gas to hunt/troubleshoot for, four kids who are dedicated to making it take four times longer than it is supposed to...sigh.
and there's the rub...
the stress of living in an unordinary way is combatted by those snatches of time where you choose not to have conscious thought...you just shut down that part of your head and go on autopilot (or risk internal combustion)...which sometimes doesnt' include touching base with folks...
Can you hear the veiled "I'm sorry"??
Good, my friendswhoIshouldhavecalledbynowbuthaven'teventhoughIknowhowitfeels.
I suck.
I promise to do better and get in touch tomorrow.
and to my across the pond...
I'm going out and getting you some really good knives, gloves and flashlights--
I had no idea how important these were close second being new socks and dry shoes...
oh yeah and another thing...
soon as the weather cools off I'm sending chocolate....lots and lots of chocolate.
I am distracted by a number of things.
3/3 Kilo Marines are coming home to Hawaii as I write this. They have worked so hard and all you have to do is read this or look at pictures here to see just what they have managed to accomplish. I'll be glad to hear they are home and taking 4 day naps. They have more than earned them.
Faith...today there was a whole long homily about the woman at the well and how humans tend to look for the easy way out--that magic bullet if you will. Shrug. I don't know-- sometimes I think we humans can equally be accused of making things harder then they need to be.
Time...I had a lot of it on my hands, recently. It didn't act any different from what I could tell. Unfilled, though, it felt like an impetus for something I haven't got to the bottom of, yet. Busy takes on a whole new meaning coming home.
Goals...to run again--see where my body is now after so little has been asked of it save five pregnancies and four births. I know you are thinking 'well hell pregnancy is a lot to ask of it.' True. In a way--but actually pregnancy is mostly a spectator sport except for the very beginning and the very end. Mostly you are just along for the ride. Working my body to run is more daily deliberate, an ongoing act of the will-- if you will.
speaking of will
Will...what can you will?
Really.
Exactly what can a human will?
I have heard love is an act of the will--faith, hope, trust, too.
I bet there are even more you couls add here.
Just because you can will them...should you and when, exactly?
As an aside...I have been reading a lot today and posting on our milblog.
There is a good piece on bootcamp written by someone who has gone through it for an audience that probably hasn't. Phillipine Phil, I thought you did a great job!
Another good article I read today was over at Neptunus Lex who posted an article the Washington Post put out on women in the military and their increased roles in combat situations. His link is on my blogroll.
James Alan Bersen wrote a piece on his view of the presidential election. He is an intelligience officer at Camp Victory in Iraq. He's a fellow Texan and one time reporter at our Capitol here. Always a good blog to read if you want some troop perspective and a sense of what boots on the ground there are thinking.
Again pray for our Kilo Marines in the 3/3. They are finally coming home.
