Honey,

You have to let this go.

You have taken it apart in your mind,
gone over it any number of ways.
It's beginning to affect our
marriage,
routine
and mental health.

You've been clenching your jaw at night again did you know that?

You can keep working at it, if you want to
but you and I both know it's no use.

It's over.

It
just
is.

Honey.
There's no use denying it anymore.

You know it.
I know it.

We have to face the truth:
We
have
to
call
the
plumber!!!

The
&$#%
plumber!!!!!

Okay?
You get me?

For the love of God
and everything holy
and
Before I kill you and have to make it look like an accident.

We. have. to. call. the. plumber.
Understand?
Are you hearing the words coming out of my mouth?
cause hell
I'll sign it
sing it
act it out
pound it out in braille even.

Whatever it takes.

P_L_U_M_B_E_R
Say it with me now.
P_L_U_M_B_E_R

Besides.
Look at it like this:
It'll be cheaper than a felony conviction and you might even get sex out of it.

Well--I don't know though.

At this point, I'm pretty pissed.

I mean.

I knew that we would have put a call in last week.

Before you

checked all the seals
snaked the line
and plunged like you were rotorooting a sperm whale's blow hole
for a solid week.

I knew we would have to call the plumber before you fell into this pissy assed mood only a house full of perimenopausal women could fully appreciate.

I knew.

Now I'm pissed.

Just think of all the
aggravation
frustration
irritation
agitation

which could have been avoided

and then there's whatever crap you were going through.

I'm cooked boy.
Tomorrow I'm making a call.

Tomorrow I'm calling the f-ing plumber
and
now I'm mad
because
it's gonna cost us the same amount of money it would have cost us last week when I wasn't.

GRRRRRRRRRR.

Your Wife,

your very pissed off significant other who is nowhere near in the mood for anymore of your or anyone else's crap at this point.