Well I have found it.
I have found the method for teaching my 11 year old to shut the %#@ door behind him...
sweet _
mother_
of_
God,_
I have found it.
No manner of plaintive, exasperated or crazed bellowing to SHUT THE DOOR!!! has worked.
not
making him shut it 30 times
pushups
squat thrusts
death threats
orphanage applications left casually on the counter next to the cookies
or
sentence writing
has worked.
so
I was walking through the living room the other day and there it was again.
WIDE OPEN!!!!
arrrgggggggggggghhhhhh.....!!!!!!
M_O_T_H_E_R_F_U_>>>
I walked up slammed it shut saw him coming back up to the porch from throwing the garbage and instinctively locked the door.
Mom!
What?
Open the door!
No.
MOOOM.
What?!
Open the door! Come on!
NO!
You make it your job to leave the freaking door open-- so guess what buddy??? I'm making it my new job to shut it and lock it if I see it open. I'd start keeping a chair out there, if I were you. I think you are going to need it.
Blank stare.
So...
You aren't opening it?
Ding! Ding!Ding!
Whaddawehaveforhimjohnny???
uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
NO!!!!
MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!
You can"t do that.
I just did, boy.
What the hell do you mean I can't do it?
Geez boy, catch up.
I briefly felt a new balance to the universe.
but still
Being a mom sucks sometimes.
Post script...I have been assured that this problem is temporary in my son and is due soley to an over-abundance of neurons with no corollary snyaptic links. Whew and I was worried...
