The weather here is so miserable, wet and cold. I was thinking about our warriors so far away and how similar the weather has been there and how hard they are working and moving along with far less than we have here. Sometimes these folks go days without sleep when their duties demand it.

I know it's these folks' choice and it's part of the job, but it doesn't make me any less proud of what efforts they put in day in and day out and of the sacrifices their families make while they are away.

This is for D who is with his National Guard unit taking physicals and awaiting news of whether a third deployment will be asked of him.

This is for Sgt. Grumpy and all his fine Airborne folks who are out in the middle of nowhere working their asses off and doing such a hard job.

This is for 3/3 Kilo Company finally a few weeks away from home and a well deserved rest. B, we're so proud of you and your ninjas.

This is for Shaun, Mike, Roel, Joseph, Kat's dear one, J,Greg, Danelle and Jesse. Oh and also Heather and April over at Wishful Writer's nephew, Josh. He's in the same battalion as my Kilo boys...

God keep you safe and bring you home.

This is my 200th post. I wasn't sure what I wanted to talk about until a little while ago when I came across an article on Major Olmsted, a long time and well loved milblogger serving in Iraq.

As a lot of you know, I have become very involved with troop support. Even if you didn't know right off the bat...the growing number of mil related posts probably gave it away anyway. I have a hard time recalling what it was like not to be involved, I love what I do so much.

With that in mind and coincidentally, yesterday Katana from Belleau-Wood and I posted the first of what I hope will be many posts dedicated to giving troops and those who support them a place to share their thoughts on a new site we decided to call Words from Warriors.

I have learned more about the war in Iraq on milblogs than I have anywhere else. I think it is fitting to post Major Olmsteds last words as a blogger in order to illustrate what prompts some Americans to serve their country and to serve it with such valor and dedication. I think you might be surprised about the things he said--his final words.

January 04, 2008
Final Post
"I am leaving this message for you because it appears I must leave sooner than I intended. I would have preferred to say this in person, but since I cannot, let me say it here."G'Kar, Babylon 5
"Only the dead have seen the end of war."Plato*
This is an entry I would have preferred not to have published, but there are limits to what we can control in life, and apparently I have passed one of those limits. And so, like G'Kar, I must say here what I would much prefer to say in person. I want to thank hilzoy for putting it up for me. It's not easy asking anyone to do something for you in the event of your death, and it is a testament to her quality that she didn't hesitate to accept the charge. As with many bloggers, I have a disgustingly large ego, and so I just couldn't bear the thought of not being able to have the last word if the need arose. Perhaps I take that further than most, I don't know. I hope so. It's frightening to think there are many people as neurotic as I am in the world. In any case, since I won't get another chance to say what I think, I wanted to take advantage of this opportunity. Rest of post can be read on his site and condolences can be left at Obsidian Wings.

"One day God will have enough of your foolishness and demand that you hit your knees before Him. You can either do it willingly or He will put his hand upon your head and shove you to them."-Marie Lane

I was out in the blogosphere tonight and from June Cleaver after a Six- Pack I came to a site called Shoved to Them. I found the above quote in her header. Now I would like to say I merely was intrigued by the name...but truth demands I admit while intrigued, I was also on an ego trip. This mama from Shoved to Them liked a comment I made at June's so naturally I had to go and see who this mama with excellent taste was.

If you haven't read her post from today and you are a mama, especially, you really need to do yourself a favor and read it.
Hi-freakin'-larious,
but this is really not why I am talking about her...
no
it's all about me actually...

Ever since I posted the question nay demand, 'tell me what you learned this year' I have been trying to decide just what that looked like for me and I couldn't.

Mostly because, if I say I learned it, there is an underlying suggestion I won't trip on the same kind of question on another test...now that would be stupid wouldn't it? If I were to trip up, I can only hope the next exams wouldn't be posted for everyone in the free world to see and the Universe would certainly set that up, if I make a big stink about learning it in the first place. Right?

If I say I have come to terms with something then I don't ever get to whine about it again...ewww...that kinda sucks, too. Why don't I just give up a half a bottle of wine every other night while I am at it?

The fact of the matter is both demand far more accountability than I am comfortable with providing.

Oh yeah, and I don't do resolutions.

I used to.

I got in fistfights with myself until about the end of February, licked my wounds until May, made excuses and basically determined none of these resolutions had any veracity until the end of summer, had them annulled by October then suffered short term memory loss through the holidays so that by December I felt the pull to slip back into self actualization mode forgetting the self inflicted black eyes and split lips of late winter/ early spring all together.

It was a sick little game I played with myself.

I was in a really bad wreck,
I lost a couple of good friends, got brave and earned one back,
met some really fine people like B, D, Katana, Sgt Grumpy and J
and
found a deep passion for milsupport.

My friends who go through the angst of knowing me face to face
walked me through
a cancer scare
crisis es of faith
insurrections
and some really great Mother's Nights Out

with the flat of their sword or well spoken word knights and poets taught me a few needed lessons I hadn't signed up for while my husband always returned me to tone.

None of it in this order and with some repeats, I lived through it all.
It didn't kill me.
I was pretty sure it would
and I still have a healthy respect for life's ability to want to be clear about it's intentions especially when my neck is so stiff I can't look up or down at it to see what it is trying to tell me at times.

I have no answers for where I have been or even if I clearly recall what all those places were without revision or embellishment.

I am sure that my biggest weakness is self love and that my greatest strength is love of others.

What I have for my 'tell me' is it is easier to love myself if I am not so willing to take my own word for it as much as I am God's. I don't know that I trust Him anymore than I did before, but I know I want to trust Him more and I know that he has sent me some really great people so I can practice.

Who knows what 2008 will bring, but I know whatever it is it involves practice--lots of practice.

Bring it.

Katana, over at Belleau-Wood is a 2LT, serving her country and sharing her new husband with Iraq for the next 15 months. She wrote a post which I am having her guestblog here. I hope hearing her perspective on the impact we can have on one another will move us to continue to act on behalf of our countrymen one at a time. For more information on how to do that please see the links at the end of this post.